ugliest remodel

Ugliest remodle heads to L.A.

2007-07-01T15:56:00.000-07:00

Well, in this neighborhood the people are so rich that some of the houses have developed gout. The color of this gem was probably brought on by a diet of fois gras,caviar and lots of vintage port with luxury cuvees of champaigne thrown in for good measure. I can't think of any reason for a finish like this other than to show the rest of the neighbors that the pantry is definitely too full of ultra-rich fare and not enough roughage. Hopefully a doctor can make a housecall soon.

Hey, I hear that a metal roof will last forever...

2007-03-25T15:57:00.000-07:00

And be repulsive forever. Maybe this house isn't quite as ghastly as some but I know where they were trying to go with this one and they really didn't get there. In Key West there are some quaint houses that have metal roofs, palm trees and the like....they look nice and weathered, appropriate for the climate. This house kind of went the Tuff-Shed-on-steroids route, maybe a nice place to put about 750 lawnmowers.

Maybe it's dietary....

2007-03-25T15:50:00.000-07:00

If you could only see how yellow this house is.....kind of a " My house can out mustard your house any day of the week" yellow. The nice Home Depot leaded glass "should really be on your dentists office" door always screams ugly in any language. I can't imagine how far in hock this family must have went to create this massive blight. The white picket fence must be left over from the original , now departed ( and sorely missed by people like me..) 700 square foot cottage.

A photo can't possibly capture the...well......

2007-03-25T15:41:00.000-07:00

I guess this week is all about tile-roofed taco-bellian monster nightmare visions on the west side. I took the photo on a foggy day so one cannot really get the full 'milk of magnesia" color treatment of the second story. The bottom floor is kind of a fleshy-soily faux finish 'remember the Alamo' kind of nauseating color.There are some nice elements to the structure of the house-the balcony, the cantalevered second story.....stuff that even I like. If only they had just gone with white stucco exterior....but then , this house would languish in obscurity rather than basking in proud and defiant ugliness.

Hello, fakeness my old friend.....

2007-03-25T15:31:00.000-07:00

When somebody tries to make a new thing look olde worlde quainte, I don't know about you by my stomach starts churning as if I'm on some really choppy boat ride and someone in the galley is burning coffee. In this case,the cruise is on the fake Mediterranian on a course to the faux-land islands. The architectural style is more like Taos meets Tony Soprano and totally misses the mark. Compounding the ugliness is the sheer size of this homage to fakeness.

Falun Gong show

2007-02-25T16:28:00.000-08:00

My guess is that the owner of this monster has fantasies of being the consulate of Burma. This isn't a house, it's an embassy. Maybe the house isn't really hideous but it is monumentally silly......only Steven Segal would live in a house like this-let me put it better....only a really crazy person would live in a house such as this. The house is so big, the carp pond must be indoors cause ther ain't no outdoors on this lot.

would you like to super-size that chimichanga, sir?

2007-02-25T16:20:00.000-08:00

This mediterranean nightmare,possibly inspired by the Taco Bell architectural school of design is really repulsive. The faux-Hispanola stucco is so horrid that for me it conjures up images of severe burns or skin rashes, only fake. Like the worst looking makeup, the treatment of the exterior is really something to behold in person.

I can't believe I ate the whole thing

2007-02-25T16:11:00.000-08:00

The whole lot, in this case. Maybe this behemoth isn't as ugly as some but it gets ugly points for how disproportionally gigantic it is for the size lot that it is on. I am sure that the neighbors were horrified when this godzilla of a house took shape. What a bloated statement of excess-not to mention how sad it must be to have to go to someone else's house to see an actual yard.

Gosh, I just can't make up my mind....

2007-02-19T18:51:00.000-08:00

Here's a number of styles piled on top of each other as if some freak tornado picked up a few pre-fabs and dropped them on top of a stucco house on the west side. The poeple were so enamored with the result of their abomination that they had an almost identical miniature version made for a guest house.

My big ,fat, ugly Greek remodel.

2007-02-18T09:58:00.000-08:00

Well, maybe I'm exaggerating a little. First off, it isn't that big. Maybe it's not even that Greek, but boy....what the heck were they thinking? The 'Jaunty" roof angle and the bold nasty romper room color scheme possibly harken back to some Greek holiday eons ago. It's too bad that the person didn't take photos of what they wanted to convey in this misguided abomination on the west side. I was surprised not to see the sidewalk littered with regurgitated suflaki from the Greek restaurant three blocks away.

ugliest remodels of santa cruz

2007-02-17T16:33:00.000-08:00

Howdy, folks. First, let me say that the contents of this blog are meant to be funny and not an attack on the quality of construction and/or the character of the homeowner. Let's face it, taste is something you can't buy, but you wouldn't know that seeing all of the millions of dollars used in the pursuit of tastefulness-only to fall miserably short of the intended goal. In the coming weeks I'll take my camera on my commute with the purpose of showcasing the most misguided and truly awful remodels......they are numerous and sadly very hard to miss.These are the houses that say to the world: " Hey, Look at me.........and vomit." Enjoy !